Airplane Mode
I despair at all things number related, including: time, dates, how old I was when an event happened, basic math, anniversaries, birthdays, how much something costs (including my own coaching fees!). You name it, if it involves a number, I'm likely to flub it.
Years ago, 30 minutes past an allotted professional hour, I would realize time had escaped my grasp. Then, I'd find myself rushing to end an appointment with one client, so I might attend - albeit belatedly - to another. To assist with my malady, I learned to set an alarm for my client time. The least cumbersome solution made use of the timer on my phone. And, to alleviate the risk of interruption from an incoming call, I switched my phone to airplane mode.
With use, I discovered, I love the power of airplane mode! I use it frequently. Whether on retreat or traveling to a foreign land (when that was an option), this simple switch allows me to use my phone as a clock or camera, without fear of the outside world intruding on my present moment.
Beyond that, I turn my phone to airplane mode every night before bed. Never again shall I be awakened in the wee hours, by a voice message or text. Enamored as I am with this tool, I often leave the phone silent, until meeting with my first phone client of the day. I find this encourages greater stillness and peace in my life.
Kirk Roberts
Independent Website Consultant
Then, a funny thing happened. Over the last several months, I've been working with a web designer, Kirk Roberts, to create a new site for my business. In the past, I've always done all web work myself, with the aid of some template or another. Let me assure you, I possess a variety of gifts - web design is NOT one of them. So, I'm grateful for the support, leaning into the process of collaborating, rather than attempting to self-manage the tech and visual appeal.
Kirk is a punctual soul. Never have we had a meeting that started a minute later than scheduled. Even I made it on time to our appointments, and anyone who knows me will tell you, that's a bit of a miracle.
A couple of weeks ago, I had my phone at the ready, ear bud secured, awaiting Kirk's call for our 10am rendezvous. With curiosity, I watch the minutes melt away, wondering, "Was I to call him this time?" Just as I lifted the phone to dial his number, I realized, I'd never released my phone from airplane mode. Oops!
In the past seven+ years that I've been using this strategy to support my time management and quietude, I cannot remember a single other instance of missing a call as a result of forgetting to bring my phone back on line. The metaphor, though, snagged my attention instantly.
How often have I expected or wished for something, only to realize I'd put myself on airplane mode?
About eight years ago (Okay, this is funny, right? Because, now you know, I don't really remember exactly how long ago!), I awakened to a personal "Ah ha!" I suck at receiving. I'm arguing with myself as I craft these words, because I truly want to write, "I sucked at receiving," and I did! I just haven't graduated, yet, to leave it in past tense.
I remember returning home from attending a weekend workshop in Maryland. My husband and I sat on our back porch, and with great discomfort and vulnerability, I made a request for change:
"Would you please stop anticipating what you think I might want or need? I've realized that I'm terrible at receiving, and one step toward changing that, will be learning to ask for what I want. If you anticipate, and take action, I never get to ask. I may also get missed your way, because I may not want what you think I want. Then, you resent everything you're doing, because I don't appreciate it. It's really messy! And, the one thing I'm clear about is this: if I don't have space to ask for what I want, I won't ever get good at it. If I can't get good at asking, I'm not sure how I'll ever manage to up my game on receiving. Would you be willing to help me with this, by not doing anything until I ask?"
He agreed to support me, by leaving me space. It posed a challenge for both of us! And we still, occasionally, stumble into our old patterns. Generally, though, I've dramatically leveled-up my asking, and I credit him with leaving me the room to do so.
Of course, I do still get caught when it comes to full-on receiving. Sometimes I ask, and then follow it up with an apology or "but it's okay if you say no." Uggh! Other times, I knot myself in the belief that I have to give something in exchange - that I can't just ask. Again, uggh!
I see each one of these as a mini-airplane mode, because I'm not making myself fully available to receive what I want. I guess, if I'm not all the way to airplane mode, I've at least got a faulty wi-fi connection. I manage to send out my request, and quickly shut off the modem, before I can allow in what I've asked for. It's a freaking work in progress, my friends!
I started wondering, though, what if I'm not the only one? Maybe you, too, have experience of wanting something in your life, whether you wish for a life companion, a hand-crafted safety mask from a friend, or a simple glass of iced tea. Whatever it is you desire, have you freely asked for it? And if you have asked, have you allowed the vulnerability required to receive what the universe has to offer you? Or, might you, too, have an unconscious relationship with your internal airplane mode. Do you believe you've taken all the steps to make a connection, and then find yourself waiting by the phone for a call that cannot possibly reach you?
For me, the first step was recognizing how I'd been attempting to protect myself by:
Blocking whatever was offered to me (even if I wanted it), and
Avoiding the vulnerability of making a request of any kind.
Because that's the thing about asking for help, it's inherently vulnerable. Same goes for opening to receive all that is available to you. Here's my current wonderment...Despite still lacking mad skills in this area, I have opened to receiving from the universe in big and small ways - less so with people. One truth I understand is this: If I do it somewhere, I do it everywhere.
This means, if I'm still caught on fully allowing myself to receive from the people in my life, I'm also not allowing myself to fully receive from the bigger ribbons of energy that flow through the ethers - and those ribbons are already giving me LOTS! So, what the heck might I open to, if I release my strangle hold on receiving from the people in my life? Whoa baby! I don't know, and it's exciting enough to nudge me a bit farther down this path. Maybe you'd like to walk it with me? We can see what happens together!
With love and encouragement,
Joanne Lutz
